Hey guys,

Haha, so I was planning to do a Christmas countdown for two weeks, but I totes missed yesterday cause it was really busy so I forgot.

I've been lazily studying for my summer exam cause I just can't be bothered. It's really worrying cause it's a pretty difficult subject but I just can't find the motivation to study. I'm really burnt out :( I hope this feeling will go away before New Years cause in Jan I have a summer subject then too. Horray! Not.

Big things happened yesterday. The boy moved in yesterday. I'm kinda worried cause I don't think I really thought this through and really understood what I got myself into.

• Space. I didn't realise he would need so much space - he has some stuff on the floor and I think I feel claustrophobic and cluttered. I may be overreacting cause I haven't shared a room with someone in a while.
• Food wars. For lunch, he suddenly announced that he was going to have my migoreng... and that irked me cause he didn't even ask if he could have it. Later, I go out for dinner with my fam and I told him there's ingredients for pizza in the fridge (something I've been rationing for my food until my exam but I gave it to him since he doesn't have any food). My usual pizza is a quick pasta sauce, capsicum, mushroom and cheese and he knows this. But when I was out, I get a message from him saying that he ate most of my food supplies. Dafaq? I come home and the salami is gone and a tomato is gone - so I now have no ingredients left for a sandwich. We ate my migoreng for lunch so there's none of that left. Basically, I don't have much left to sustain myself. I'm really annoyed. I went to ask him what happened and he told me that he decided to add salami and tomato on the pizza as well... but the thing is... the pizza already has pasta base so why the fuck does he need tomatoes? And he finished the tomato too. Why was it so necessary to add these ingredients to make it fancier when it wasn't even going to fill him up much more but was just going to cause me inconvenience? The pizza base is tiny. It can't even hold that much.
• The thing that shits me the most, and I only realised this morning, is that he didn't even bother to ask if it was okay to use more of my food rather than sticking to the usual recipe that I allocated it. But all I get is a message that he's already eaten it AFTER he's used it. I mean, it's not like he just took a bit and there's some left. He finished it off. You'd think he'd realise maybe not leaving any left for me would be a problem. But no. First signs of inconsideration and that's a trait that I absolutely hate. I'm super annoyed. We've decided that we'll take turns cooking per week... but I'm starting to think maybe if this is the attitude he's going to take regarding my food supplies, we'd be better off cooking separately.
• I'm also worried because by spending so much time together, I'm already seeing that he's just not as appreciative of my presence. There's no looking forward to seeing me, the enthusiastic and attentiveness. He used to just always wants to stay by me, but lately he's just been off on his own. Like last night was my sister's birthday and I actually really wanted him to go to meet her since he'll be there for Christmas dinner. I think he picked up on the fact that I wanted him there, but he ended up saying that he'll stay home and I think it's cause Moz was staying home. But the thing is, Moz is different, he doesn't care what our fam expects of him or thinks of him and I'd rather he don't follow that cause it makes him look bad and makes me feel uncomfortable when my fam had made such conclusions about him - that he cbb to put in effort. I felt a little disappointed.
• I'm torn. On one hand I'm happy we get to spend so much time together, on the other, I know I'm going to become even more attached but the fact that he isn't going to be here long term kinda just hurts but I'm trying not to think about it and just enjoy what little time we have left.